The Amateur Triumphant - Part Three

Well, you've finally done it - closed the doors of the professional practice and sent a farewell notice to the ATO. You've tossed the letterhead, invoice forms, and business cards into the fire and told the accountant that you will be doing your own lying in the future. You are set to be a real amateur.

No turning back. No doing jobs for money. From now on the only compensation you will be receiving will be "exposure", "a drink", and "recognition". And the occasional bucket of lemons from Mr. Valducci's tree. There will be more lemons than drinks.

The demands on you will change - while no-one can compel you to deliver the goods on time, they will expect you to hand over every raw file that you have taken so that they can have them printed at Officeworks. This might have seemed unreasonable when you were a working professional but that was when you were a person with a camera in hand - now you are a camera with a person attached. The camera has remained sharp but you have become fuzzy.

Do not despair. While you no longer will have money, you can still have fun. By all means turn over the raw files to the person who demands them. Just copy them all into 1993BFG.3.0PiX format on a 5" floppy disc and hand it over. And a pleasant smile when you do so doesn't hurt.

Your own photography will improve greatly in the future. You will no longer be asked to make tins of cabbage ends or anorexic teenagers look appetising. No one will ask you to take 3.2 metric tonnes of lighting equipment up the top of Bluff Knoll in relays to capture the magic of toilet paper. You can go to a wedding and drink.

Better still, you can go to a wedding and watch the wedding photographers at work and let them watch you watching them. If you know how to let out good strangled shriek or do a very slow face palm you can have fun all afternoon. A slow wink also does the trick.

Are you worried about the piles of gear that are still stacked in the locked cabinet? Well, if you haven't finished paying for them you need not worry too much longer. The leasing and finance companies will be sorting that/you out in short order. If it is yours freehold, you can either use it to take immensely detailed photo essays of spit or you can take it to the camera markets that they hold every three months. You can then bring it home again.

There is an opportunity for the new amateur to join the art scene. This can be effected on-line or in person by attending at local art groups. Sociability, kindness, and the ability to see good in everyone is an asset in this sort of affair. It is rewarding if you are prepared to learn the language of Artspeak and are not afraid to try a few halting phrases. " Awful Dreck " and " Ghastly Daub " are useful...

Finally, have you thought of finally settling down and writing the Great Australian Novel? Or the Definitive Outback Photoshoot? Or setting fire to paddocks? They are all equally attractive propositions, and as you are a free agent you can turn them over in your mind...

Onward. Excelsior!

Uncle Dick

Turning Amateur - Part One

Every working or professional photographer I have talked to - from the lowly international Magnum superstars to the most famous of the Santa Photos shooters in Boise, Idaho - secretly nurtures one supreme aspiration. They have a dream to become a full-time amateur.

All through their working lives you can see them shooting envious glances out the sides of the viewfinder at the chaps in the photo vests who are fiddling with the brown leather ever-ready cases festooned with lens hood holders. It is sad to say that if it weren't for the pressures of money and responsibility they would chuck their day job and reach for their goal.

I guess it is like a lot of things in life - they are set early onto the treadmill and there are few opportunities to get off. They get trained in photography somehow - university, technical school, or trade - and find a job and start to take pictures for money and then before they know it they are hooked. They want to eat every day and own more than one shirt and sleep in a bed. The sad slow decline into financial comfort and professional success starts and they never really see themselves slipping further and further into affluence. One day they wake up and have it all, and no where to put it, and another carton of it arriving Monday...

Then they long for the wonderful world of the amateur. No deadlines. No live lines. No lines at all.

No need to justify their camera purchases to the accountant or the ATO. No need to own the best and fastest before a competitor owns it. No need to go round and slander the other professionals in hopes of getting a client away from them. No need to sit there in a bare studio looking at a bare appointment book and whistling to keep up the spirits. Heck, when you are an amateur you can go to Dan Murphy's and buy spirits at 10:00 in the morning and no-one cares...

Oh, the siren call of the hot photographic news story...and how sweet it is when the siren goes on by their house and they don't have to get out of bed to follow it.

And the charm of attending a rustic wedding in a paddock in the wheatbelt. Amongst the grasshoppers and dust and hayseeds...and they won't have to change lenses because they're a guest instead of a worker. And they don't have to make small talk with the hayseeds unless they want to.

That wonderful dawn at 3:00 AM in summer. Not a breath of wind. Clouds glorious. The roseate fingers of light making for perfect balance between outside light and a desperate real estate agent. No need to haul three light stands and a Skylite reflector up to a third storey. No need to climb on a ladder to get verticals right. No need to spend the rest of the day spotting out the cat wee from the walls. Architecture photography as it was meant to be enjoyed...by someone else.

Well, now that I have set the glowing picture ( and it isn't all just halation ) read on in one of our next weblog columns for how to achieve this. Remember: Life was meant to be more than just getting the gravy spots off a sensor.

Uncle Dick

The Initial Diagnosis

AIPP
WAEPPA
WAPITI
AIPP
WAPF
AAPP
APS
ACMP

Here's a puzzle for you to work on while riding the train to work - look at the list of organisations above and correctly identify the words represented by the letters.

Be careful - many of these fine organisations use similar names and ideas but arrange them in different ways.

We can give you a general hint - they have something to do with photography, competitiveness, and money.

And one includes a number of large hairy beasts who roam about and cause trouble by knocking down fences and rooting up vegetable gardens. Once a year they may be legally shot and eaten...and make superb gravy.

Knighthoods For All! - Photographers To Be Honoured!

The news is good. the Government of Ruritania has just announced that knighthoods will be awarded in their annual New Year's Honours list to photographers. Their Royal Heinyesses have placed the seal of approval*on the legislation that was moved in the Volksrat.

While we in the press will have to wait another 10 months to learn who will be beknighted, this gives an opportunity for ambitious young things...and crafty old things...to curry favour  with the palace. Whether it would be better to use the milder forms with yoghurt and mint or go for the tandoori spice is not known - time will tell.

Ruritania has many scenic views that invite landscape photography, so those workers who hike up mountains or over glaciers will have a natural advantage. If they carry cameras with them so much the better. For the gritty urban street photographer sorts, Strakenz, the capital has a wide variety of gritty urban streets. Some of the grit has been there since the last Roman invasion.

Of course, people are always a popular subject for photography throughout the world and Ruritania is no exception. The girls of the countryside pose willingly in their native dress and once one learns to set up the tripod up-wind of them many charming portraits can be taken. Of course the sturdy peasantry are also fine subjects and many of them have teeth, so smiles are possible.

One note of caution - governmental defence regulations prohibit photography, drawing, or playing peek-a-boo within 500 stroms  of any military subject in the kingdom. This is not too much of a problem as the Strakenz regiment lives at home with his mother and only parades on the last Tuesday of Lent.

The announcement of the Ruritanian photographic knighthoods follows on from the awarding of similar honours to every other crowned head in Europe that is still on its crowned shoulders - plus a special one-off award to the Queensland Minister for Roads. It will give the lie to the assertion that artists cannot be praised in their lifetimes - if Ruritania cannot do it, who can?

* it's a very good seal and can balance a ball on its nose and play a tune on horns.

A Modest Proposal - Guard The Presidents

The recent inauguration of the American president would appear to be the subject of some little controversy - and not just whether or not the President was entitled to stand for office. You may entertain your own opinion on that one, and if you are an American citizen, attempt to express it. Good luck.

No, two questions seem to revolve about whether the singer who assaulted the national anthem and the Marine band who opposed her were using canned music and lip-synching to do it, and whether Bravo Company - the ceremonial troops who provided the USMC contingent in the march-past - were compelled to parade with M1 rifles that had been stripped of their bolts.

Leaving aside the singer, please, the Marine guard question is moot. I have seen images that seem to show just that, and I have seen websites that claim it to be a furphy. If done, it would be one branch of government controlling another ( SS vs USMC ) and either  a valid security decision or a deadly insult.
I am still trying to get further sight of footage of the troops in motion at such a resolution that I can see for myself.

The real point of this is we must consider whether or not to implement the same idea for photographic society and association meetings here in Australia. Every one of the organisations - AAPP, AIPP, WAPPY, etc. has a president, vice president, and such and at an open meeting they are sitting targets for anyone in the audience to take a pot shot. At an eastern states conference I myself squeezed off half a dozen exposures of the speaker at a high ISO and had I done so with a dodgy white balance, the consequences could have been grave...

Perhaps we should require the audience members to parade before each meeting to be frisked by the guards, then have their batteries confiscated, and upon leaving sign a statutory declaration that they do not have any live cards or produce on their persons. This, and a strict watch upon their web sites, work computers, and families should do it. With a little common sense and a docile attitude on the part of the association members, hangings should not be necessary.

If they are, at least there should be good lighting, a catalogue, and wine and cheese at the opening ceremony...

Uncle Dick

AAPP National Convention 2011

The Australian Accredited Professional Photographers (AAPP) group will be holding their National Convention from July 31st through to August 2nd, 2011 at the Esplanade Hotel in the lovely port town of Fremantle.

Guests of honour this year are husband and wife photographic business team Yervant and Ani.  Yervant is the recipient of the prestigious 'Life Time Achievement Award' by WPPI (Wedding and Portrait Photographers International) for his unparalleled influence on professional wedding photography internationally.  Throughout the seminar, Yervant will showcase his most current works, teach about his vision and what the future holds for our industry.

His wife Anie is his business manager and the marketing genius behind his success.  Anie will present about the business of photography and Brand Marketing.

Interested in attending?  Take a look at the brochure and registration documents for details.