Uncle Dick's Workshop - Friday 11
Every Friday at 10:00AM - we will be bringing you the sort of cutting-edge expertise that leaves ragged bits and sore fingers - Uncle Dick's Workshop. The advice is free - free from good sense in most instances....It really cranks up around the first of April.
Q: I ordered this last week. Where is it?
A: Damfino. They have yet to equip cardboard boxes containing lens hoods with GPS units or laser designation responders. You could be in for a wait – the tracking number is in Roman numerals....
Q: This image appears to be soft in the corners. What are you going to do about it?
A: Congratulate you – it is a picture of a kitten on a fur rug.
Q: How can I prevent members of sports teams and school classes from making “Indian Feather” finger signs behind their friend’s heads just before I take their photo.
A: Remember what Phil Sheridan said about good Indians. I should think a .38 would suffice for most schoolboys.....
Q: I see that they manufacture coffee cups that look like Nikon or Canon lenses. Which one would have better resolution on a small-sensor camera?
A: Say, we’ve really got to stop using model aeroplane glue in a confined space, don’t we....
Q: I hope to make a living taking pet portraits – how should I set up my studio?
A: Start off by getting business cards printed in two languages – cat and dog. Then give one to each inmate in the animal shelters and pet stores. You may need a receptionist for the telephone – may I suggest a parrot?
Labels: Uncle Dick