Total Recall - A Message From The Australian Agents

Flapoflex Australia would like to notify purchasers of their latest mirror-less camera that the war has not necessarily gone to the advantage of Flapoflex. Users are kindly requested to return the cameras to Flapoflex for minor adjustments.

Flapoflex customers may be a little confused at the term " mirror-less " as the company only makes DSLR cameras. Therein lies a clue to this announcement. Please bring the mirror in at the same time as the camera and they will glue it back on...

At the same time other small matters will be attended to. The white spots that have started to appear on the sensor will be synchronised with the black spots that have started to appear on the LCD screen. The lens mount will be tightened and the tendency of the digital processor chip to gurgle in the night will be lessened.

The mysterious white orbs that appear when the camera is put into Alien Abduction Mode are not a fault. They are a feature that sells well in Roswell, New Mexico.

Users are also requested not to wipe the coating of  bunker oil from the sensor before sending the camera in. The shipping line that delivers the cameras from Asia wants it back.

Flapoflex would like to reassure customers who have purchased their fine products in the past that quality control is paramount in their factory. They have kept it down to a minimum level for years and will endeavour to reduce it further in the future. This commitment will extend throughout the organisation - even as we write this the designers of the latest camera are being hunted through the swamps with dogs.

Flapoflex Australia would also like to point out that they have no connection with Flapoflex Azerbaijan or Flapoflex Equatorial Guinea and cameras purchased from these firms will need to be taken to Baku and Malabo respectively. On the third Wednesday of the month. Australian stock will be done here.

Please keep calm and carry on.