Uncle Dick's Workshop - Friday 15

Every Friday at 10:00AM - we will be bringing you the sort of cutting-edge expertise that leaves ragged bits and sore fingers - Uncle Dick's Workshop. The advice is free - free from good sense in most instances....It really cranks up around the first of April.
 

Q:      I want to buy a camera for the roll bar of my mountain bike when I take it surfing off the bungee-jumping bridge. Have you got one and where does it mount to?

A:      Yes we do, and it clamps neatly onto the end of a broken femur, collar bone, or rib.

Q:      When does a digital camera become outdated?

A:      45 seconds after we have sold the last one and 15 seconds before the manufacturer tells us he has no stock of the new ones. The interval is known in the trade as “Screaming Time”.

Q:      What will be the next medium upon which images will be  recorded? I want to buy the equipment when it is first out.

A:      When you consider that some of the historical answers to that have included dissolved guncotton, cow’s foot jelly, and 5 inch floppy discs, I really don’t want to speculate. I am not afraid of being wrong – I am afraid of being right...

Q:      Is 5000 images too many for a wedding?

A:      No, provided you never have to view them ever again.

Q:      I want to get into professional photography.

A:      Just let me cut your hand and dip this pen in your blood. Now sign the contract. Ignore the horns and tail – all photography teachers have those. Warm enough for you....?