Uncle Dick's Workshop - Friday 13

Every Friday at 10:00AM - we will be bringing you the sort of cutting-edge expertise that leaves ragged bits and sore fingers - Uncle Dick's Workshop. The advice is free - free from good sense in most instances....It really cranks up around the first of April.
 

Q:      Why do old wedding photographers become embittered and savage creatures, snarling defiance to an uncaring world?

A:      It is the nature of love. Brides do that to you.

Q:      Why do some religions forbid us to take pictures inside their places of worship?

A:      They are afraid that their Deity may smite them - or be caught changing clothes – or insist on posing with lightning bolts and cherubs. Or they are just ashamed of the wallpaper.

Q:      How can I prevent my lenses from getting condensation in them when the camera is out in the open for hours taking pictures of star trails?

A:      Do it in the middle of a warm day.

Q:      If memory cards are so small and so cheap, why do manufacturers not include at least 16 Gb internal memory in all their cameras in addition to a slot for a removable card?

A:      You ask questions of frightening sensibility and I am ashamed not to be able to give you a good answer.

Q:      If solid state memory chips are so small and cheap, why do I not put all my completed data upon them instead of trusting it to a hard drive that will grind to a halt in three years?

A:      Stop asking these questions.