" Hello, Hell Desk Here - How May We Hell You?
Many of the desks are automated - much like the Death Star in the Star Wars movies. You cannot approach to the actual command structure without passing layer upon layer of automated voices and "press 2 for fried chicken and/or semiconductor design". That and the laser cannons.
You are cautioned that whatever you say will be recorded for "training purposes". They imply that their staff will be trained, but in reality it is you - the caller - who is being trained. Trained to sit there patiently while they play " Greensleeves " to you. I don't know about you, but I want an ice cream with my " Greensleeves "...
If you do eventually get through to a human - and this is by no means assured if you are ringing a government department or insurance office - they are generally quite nice. They may not be here in Australia, but at least they are breathing somewhere and this gives you a chance to go beyond the basic questions in search of help.
It pays to be gentle with the help desk staff - these same people may be ringing you up at tea-time and telling you that your computer has a virus.
This post is brought to you by Camera Electronic Help Desk. We do not have the laser cannons like the Death Star but we can find a couple of old battery-powered pointers that we used to use for slide shows.