I Wannabe A Wannabee - A Digital Wannabee

I used to think that the wannabe culture was restricted to fashion and left-wing clubs at university. Then I started working in retail and found out that it has extended to the shop shelf. And today the final confirmation as I drove to work...

It was a nice Audi sports car - a convertible in a dark grey metallic. It had all the attributes of luxury; the Auto Union rings at the back and a deodorant pine tree dangling from the rear view mirror. The driver had sunglasses and was wearing them on the front of his head.  so far so good. Of course he was going faster than the speed limit, but then you would do, wouldn't you, driving an Audi sports car. Especially if you had a personalised number plate that said "Porsche 1"...

I wonder if his dissatisfaction with his current level of possession will induce him to change the badges on the car. Perhaps he could get a BMW one for the front and a Mercedes one for the back to spread the load. I know where he could get a Baker Electric plate...

Does this have an application for photographers? Indeedy do - there are people who call to see us each week who want the latest and best but can't afford it. They try to correct this by browbeating us for a price. Can we match the price on the internet? Can we match the price on eBay? Can we match the price on the magnet on the beer fridge?

What we need to do here is help out with  the anxiety while allowing the client to get the best out of their budget or their current equipment. The answer is surprisingly simple - stickers printed on an inkjet printer and applied over the nameplate or model plate of the camera.

Do you want a new DSLR but can only afford a secondhand 35mm? Sticker over the front of the prism housing and Blu-tac a piece of black cardboard on the rear cover and just glance at it every so often while you pretend to push buttons. Mutter about white balance. The size of the camera will tell everyone that you have a full-frame camera and the rest is just fast footwork and a confident attitude.

If you have got a good little digital but the manufacturer has brought out a new model...and your brother-inlaw has one...just sticker over the model plate with the new number and add a small "s" or "r" behind it. Ask him how he's getting on with his old one. Do it when he can't answer immediately and you'll have hours of fun.

Next post: how to host your own forum with a Fisher-Price keyboard.