Jef The Cyclist - With Ion Air Pro Plus

I believe there is a colony of Jefs somewhere in my suburb. The warm weather brings them out and they swarm along the road in the morning as I start for work. You see clouds of them as you approach the traffic lights - it can be quite spectacular as they flash past you in their multicoloured outfits, lycra-clad quoits bobbing away as far as the eye can see. Horrible sight to start the day with.

Leaving this philosophical observation aside, I noticed a variant on one of the Jefs this morning. On top of the Alien Mother helmet was one of the small video recorder cameras - I don't think it was one of the Air Pro or Go Pro, but it was something of that nature. I wondered if he had one of those hands-free mobile phones plugged into his ear as well - he seemed to be talking to thin air as he rolled past. Perhaps he was just speaking to The Voices...

I hope the next time The Voices contact him the tell him that the camera mounted on the top of the helmet looks pretty silly. If it is designed to record his feats of daring-do on the race track, he is a day late. If it is to record the outrages and assaults he will receive on the road, it is pointed in the wrong direction - more people will run into his wazoo than his bazoo. In any case it is just too obvious. If he wishes to operate Sneaky-cam he needs to put it on his bike handlebars or on the side of his helmet where it is camoflaged by the outline of his head.

If it is to record the tail-gunner's view of approaching BMW's the scope for mounting widens. It would also be a more formidable menace pointed backwards, as it would record all the drivers texting and doing their hair as they approach the lights. I am not guilty of this sort of thing - I have not figured out how to text on my Nokia and at my age the little hair I do have hardly matters. Still, the thought of being recorded by the video camera as I bear down on the Jef with the 14th century jousting lance couched in my armour would make me think twice about it.

Or at least do my hair.

Note: On a sales subject. I see the Ion Air Pro Plus has several bike mounts that allow handlebars, top of helmet, and side of helmet mounting straight out of the box. The wazoo mount you have to get from Queensland and it comes in a plain, sealed package...