Loose Lips And Little Cameras

Like everyone I have a morning routine - in my case ablutions, nourishment, bodily functions, and reading Ken Rockwell. In some cases, I read Ken after the bodily functions - in some cases before. I find if you read him before it speeds up the process. I suspect speaking with him on a face to face basis would have very much the same effect.

For a while I wondered if he actually had a face, or was just a clever computer construct by 'The Onion' or 'Kids In The Hall'. Reading his work, however, gradually convinced me that he is real - and very likely his family is as well. Of course I could be wrong about anything on the internet - that Nigerian letter episode still rankles, and I am starting to doubt that the 45,000,000 Euros are ever going to be paid into my account...

Today's Ken-o-gram is no different from his average fare, but it does contain three gems amongst the dross. He is speaking about one of the new versions of a very good Fuji camera and manages to characterize the people who buy things from shops as "Ignoratii" and "dumb enough to buy at retail". If you like taking video you are a "vidiot". That's you and I, friend. Because we are fools enough to want to see a real human face over a counter and try before we buy and get real advice form someone who takes real pictures, we are doomed to live our lives under his displeasure. I am going to try to bear up under the strain, but how about you?

I suppose one way to put a cheerful face upon it is to go out and take pictures. In the same vein that we go out and take "selfies" with mobile phones and compact cameras, I propose to go into my studio and take "dickies". These will be a series of images of me in misleading and outrageous guises, surrounded by impossibly expensive cars, or exotic women, or piles of unwashed dishes. The magic of Photoshop Elements will put me in places I would not go in a pink fit, and amongst people I would cross the continent to avoid.

If I were given to taking photographs of deserted places, with no real point other than oversaturation, I would refer to them as "kennies". But who would want to look at them? Ever?

Ah, well, on to happier notes - we have just staggered downstairs with a couple of cubic yards of compact and mirrorless cameras from Nikon, Canon, Olympus, and Panasonic and have ranged them in the cabinets to attract the eye. I was thinking of putting a sharp monopod jutting out from a shelf at about 5 feet high to do that very thing but the other staff members prevented me. I think they are just getting soft.

Uncle Dick