It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Loses An iPhone
There are more practical ways of dealing with this -amongst which is making arrangements not to have it stolen in the first place. And while you are at it, not to have the rest of your gear stolen.
My house is no more secure than any other - it has fly screens, door locks, deadlocks, and window locks, which deter moths and me, but would present no barrier at all to thieves. What does present a barrier is a large metal safe bolted to the wall and floor - a relic from the days when I kept firearms in the place - legally, I might add* Now it keeps family papers, cameras, old broken watches (sentiment...) and the occasional memory card for a job that is under way. It could be broken into but that would take time and machinery and noise - so currently it is secure.
Also secure is the Drobo hard drive array that holds my pictures - buried deep a cavernous drawer of a large metal desk, it gets enough air to stay cool and enough protection to avoid thieves. The monitor that sits above it is secured with a steel cable Kensington lock - enough trouble to deter the casual juvenile. I have no fear of thieves stealing my books - Plato or Michael de Montaigne rarely attract the sort of people who ransack houses. Indeed, I would welcome them taking some of the stuff on the shelves as I hate it but cannot bear to part with it.
Moral of this tale? There is no moral, other than lock up your hard drive and computer. Let them have the iPhone - then you can live free of the damn ring tone and will not spend the rest of your life looking at it in shops. Your thumbs will thank you.
* Found something better...