Permission To Have Fun, Sir? - - With Ilford

You can sit there at the computer only so long HDR'ing a picture of a beach before you start to slump sideways. Likewise processing cubic yards of bridal parties or school balls. Eventually you are forced to turn the laptop off with a brick and go looking for a drink.

This sort of ennui is not new - film photographers used to develop it ( geddit...) after about 6 hours in the gloom of a darkroom trying to get the ghost gum in the paddock on one corner of the print to match tone with the dead galah on the other corner. It was a relief to have someone stumble into the darkroom and ruin all the work. You could vent your rage and burst into tears and it was all someone else's fault.

I am not sure if the wet-plate or daguerreotype workers were bored - they generally were on the leading edge of the art and one step ahead of either poisoning or blowing themselves up. Maybe Fox Talbot got sick of waiting for the leaves to appear on the paper...

Well, we have the answer to the blah's. Get yourself an Ilford Pinhole kit. Comprises a well-built plastic frame with a "bellows" that is rigid out the front, a laser-drilled pinhole, a number of sheets of paper and film, and a calculator for the exposure.

I'll correct that -it is a calcu-later as most of the exposures you will be doing involve sitting patiently for seconds, if not minutes. Take a book and a big orange drink.

You'll need to source 4 x 5 double dark slides to slip into the back - or you could use a roll film holder if you wanted to be a spoil-sport. The three boxes of film and paper are Delta 100 in 4 x 5, Harman Positive paper, and Ilford Multigrade in 4 x 5. This means you can do paper negatives, direct positives, and regular negatives, and all you'll need to develop them is a 4 x 5 tank, or a simple set of trays in a darkroom. The chemistry will be plain old Ilford B/W stuff - no need for exotics or poisons.

The frame has an integral bubble level for landscapes and two 1/4" 20 sockets on the sides to let you do landscape or portrait. As the exposure times are so long, portraiture may be problematical, but remember it has been done before and it can be done again. You will have fun trying and the results have a soft focus charm of their own.

I particularly recommend that you Google up Photo Secession and " The Onion Field" to see how lovely it can all look.